• Step right up, step right up,

  for a unique Saint Nicholas tradition! Do you enjoy the patriarchy? Does violence, especially during the Christmas season, resonate with you? Then come closer! We’ve been there, at the top-secret Klaasohm-fight at Borkum!

  Uncle Nicholas Goes on a Woman Hunt

  Borkum, a small North Sea island in Lower Saxony, has celebrated the Klaasohm for over 200 years. This tradition is so deeply rooted it would make even Markus Söder’s mustard fly off his Leberkäse. Klaas means Nicholas, and Ohm translates to Uncle in Dutch: Uncle Nicholas. How Christmassy! It’s particularly festive for the men of Borkum, with traditions steeped in rules: Six Klaasohms and one Wiefke (also a man, but dressed as a woman — how cheeky!) are chosen from the Borkumer Jungens club across three age groups. The Klaasohms are decked out in enormous masks adorned with a bizarre assortment of animal parts: seagull feathers, seal heads, and similar oddities. The chosen men first face off in a preliminary fight. The winner then earns the traditional honor of leading Borkum’s big woman-beating event. After the mysterious fight in the hall, the Klaasohms take to the streets on a “woman hunt.” What does that mean? Exactly what it sounds like: they roam around beating women with cow horns. To ensure maximum success, they’re assisted by helpers who hold the women down. It’s male teamwork at its finest!

  Breaking: No More Woman-Beating!

  Until now. Despite the Borkum locals’ previous success in keeping journalists away and keeping this quaint tradition under the radar, the woman-beating has come to an end. Just before this year’s Klaasohm — as the cow horns were being polished and the seal hats waterproofed — the NDR aired a hard-hitting report. Women and former Klaasohms spoke out, recounting experiences of violence, injuries and group pressure. Meanwhile, the mayor and equality personnel were seemingly too busy drawing hearts in the mudflats to respond to journalists. The resulting media attention forced the Borkum community to act. The once-unthinkable happened: this year’s Klaasohm did not involve public violence against women (at least not openly). The organizers issued a statement distancing themselves from violence, especially against women. Supposedly, there was even an emergency hotline — though only Nicholas himself knows where to find it.

  What now remains of Klaasohm without the woman-beating, you ask? We wondered the same thing. Using hidden cameras, and with help from former Klaasohms, we infiltrated the hall where the great Klaasohm fight occurs.

  Men Who Run Into Each Other and Fall Over

  We discovered: quite a lot still goes on! Women are still barred from the event — so if not direct violence, then at least exclusion remains intact. Only familiar Borkum locals are allowed inside. The proceedings? Lots of alcohol, masked men running at each other, and whoever falls first loses. The last man standing is THE MAN!!! AWESOME!!!!! Watching this spectacle raises questions: Why is this masculinity carnival a secret? Is it because it embodies a version of masculinity that teeters between absurdity and embarrassment?

  Violence against those not read as male is however, unfortunately, a deeply entrenched and growing issue, far beyond only St. Nicholas traditions. When it takes external pressure to halt the annual “harmless fun” of beating women, the Klaasohm, ehm, elephant in the room becomes clear: what values does this event actually promote? Simply dropping the violence may not be enough to change its core.

German Press